Backing Off

Well, for the time being, Kyah has decided to give dancing away. What very sad, tragic news. I think she needs to have a break from all the pressure of full time dance and to get back to enjoying being a child again. There’s plenty of time to  take life seriously when she gets older. She obviously needs to have a break from it all. Most people will need a break at some stage from the intensity of life, especially when kids have been doing something high intensity for a long time. Kyah has been dancing since she was 2.5 years old. I am glad it is now that Kyah wants (needs), her break. I am also very happy that she knows she is able to speak up and say she needs a break, rather than not feeling like she is able to say anything and falls apart slowly.

The most important thing is that my child finds who she is and, that she is secure in herself.  No matter what is said to her, by whoever. she will not be moved by them. Life is full of people who want to crush you and the dance world is no exception. If Kyah can find who she is and be so secure in herself, that she is not moved by what anyone says, she will definitely be a force to be reckoned with. It won’t matter what people say to her, whether she places first or not in something, whether she dances or not. My hope is that Kyah will be secure enough in herself to know that she is special, she is important, and she is loved, no matter what.

For the time being, blogging will be reduced to weekly. The mental and emotional work that is necessary now will take a bit longer than the physical, so to save you all from the painfully boring updates, I am hoping weekly blogs may be more exciting. Thank you all for your support, emails, texts, phone calls, replies – they all mean so much to us. Both Kyah and I are extremely grateful to you all for your support, feedback, advice and love.

Photo Karl Neal

 

 

 

Up The Wall

Today we went to Planet Commando again. Kyah did really well with climbing, crawling, jumping, abseiling, and all the other things that are required to do the low ropes, navy seals and maze courses. No high ropes for us today – maybe next time.

This in itself is fantastic for increasing her self esteem, confidence and will power to push through a challenge. Not to mention the huge benefits of using her foot without her actually thinking about it and the strength gains she is achieving doing these activities without her even realising.

We are still in limbo as to what to do regarding dancing.

I just think Kyah needs to focus on herself for the time being. Deal with the absolute trauma she experienced and work through the emotions attached to that, to allow her to move on emotionally and mentally for life. Also when the opportunity arises for more dancing Kyah will be more than ready.

A Bit of a Rest

Today we had a chance to stop and take stock of where Kyah is physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Physically she is going really well.

Mentally and emotionally she is needing to deal with the trauma of her accident and injury. She has been trying to please everyone else and move forward and heal the physical wounds, but unfortunately she hasn’t had a chance to address the mental and emotional aspects of the trauma. When I discuss the possibility of her speaking to someone about it, she is not interested.

Now added to this, is the issue of self esteem. For some reason Kyah does not think she can dance…. It is a huge load for a young child to be carrying. It will take lots of time and very gentle encouraging to get Kyah back to where she was and where she needs to be.

I had a couple of valuable discussions with some special people today, and it has become very obvious that we need to address helping Kyah recover from the trauma she experienced. This will definitely enable Kyah to move onwards and upwards.

In Limbo

Today, Kyah decided she did not want to go to dance at all. She is currently of the belief she is no good at dance and she will never be a good dancer again and it is becoming obvious that  the lies she has been told, she is believing and they are having such a huge impact on her self belief. How destructive people can be, even with or without realising it.

My job now is to build up my daughter’s self belief and confidence so she even wants to socialise with others,  meet new people, try new things and then, even, perhaps go back to pursue her dream of dancing.

We met up with a dear friend today, Amanda, and she was fantastic. Amanda had been in a similar situation to Kyah a few years ago; she had an injury and by the time she was able to go back to dance and sport, she knew her peers were at a level beyond where she was. She explained to us, that just knowing she should have been at their level or beyond, reduced her confidence, compounded with the fact that she was trying to return from an injury, just made it too hard for her to even contemplate returning. She dropped out of that genre of dance and never returned and regretted it ever since. She tried to explain this to Kyah – maybe it had some impact.

I also met up with some dear friends from church, Lyn and Bill. Thank you so much for your time and friendship today – it was so much needed.

Then this afternoon, our friends Charmaine and the girls came over. Some relaxing, comfortable time with them… it was invaluable. We read about our identity and where it needs to be rooted – in Christ. Hopefully something sunk in for all of us.  Thank you girls.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

"who am I?" cloud word on sky.

A Change of Pace

Today Kyah went to another dance studio, as recommended by Nika. It is a quaint classical studio, with a small number of students. I think the interaction with other kids and the reduced intensity of 1 on 1 was a pleasant change.

I told her to go there as “Kyah the dancer”, not “Kyah, the injured one”. It is time she move on from her injury and focus on positives. She was able to do most things requested, and I think the fact that the other girls were doing things, kind of encouraged Kyah to push through psychological barriers and perform steps she has not performed for a while.

So far Kyah has not made a decision as to whether she wants to continue dancing or not.  She does still seem very confused and distressed, but now I think she has realised there are other options out there for her to consider, so time will tell what decision she makes.

Thank You

I would just like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement, advice, phone calls, text messages and prayers. They are all much appreciated. Kyah is still in limbo and does not know what she wants. It is a huge decision, and I know dance is her life, so for her to want to stop dancing, I have to make sure she really wants to stop and it is not just a phase she is going through.

Tomorrow Kyah is off to a small dance studio for the day. Nika thought being around other people in the dance environment and having a bit of fun and enjoyment might help ignite the flame that burned so bright. We will see…. Both Nika and I are extremely concerned for Kyah and her happiness. Thank you Nika for your understanding and patience.

Mind Games

The mind games continue. Kyah seems to have lost all desire, drive and passion for dance at the moment. Who knows why…. It is very sad to see the love she has always had just simply disappear.

Maybe the journey has been too tough for such a young person. She has had to work so much harder than most people her age in a similar situation. Maybe she just needs a break from the intensity and pressure of it all.

I am finding it hard to comprehend that Kyah said she does not want to dance again. It has been her life-long dream, the one thing that brings her pleasure, the  one way she expresses herself and her refuge from the tough world. Why would she no longer want to do what brings her such pleasure?

I am really not sure what is the right thing to do…. sit back and let her have time off until (if) she ever decides she wants to go back to dance. Or, do I gently encourage her into some form of dance, as a simple outlet for her. I just don’t know what is the right thing to do. Yes, we need to find the path that has been paved for Kyah and have her walk that path, then I know she will be happy and passionate again. Sometimes finding that path is a huge journey itself.

We saw the physio today and she was really pleased with Kyah’s progress regarding her foot. She improved immensely in the last 10 days and that definitely made Kyah feel positive about herself.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring… let’s wait and see.

I am still hoping and praying the lies she has been told in the past no longer affect her. Last year she was in an environment that was extremely toxic and now I can see the repercussions of what was said to her coming out, affecting her very negatively.  All I can do, is pray she is able to allow God to help her believe the truth, and not the lies that were said, so she believes in herself again.

It is very sad here at the moment.

 

The Most Powerful Tool

We all know the mind is the most powerful tool we have. It is able to control our talents, abilities, ambition, self belief and many, many more things.

At the moment Kyah’s mind is definitely controlling her progress. She has been believing negative things about her ability and she is believing she is not able to dance anymore. She believes she used to be able to dance and now she can’t… for whatever reason, and she seems to simply not be pushing herself , again, for whatever reason…. Fear of failure, fear of re-injury, fear of disappointment… who know?.

If Kyah is ever going to dance again she needs a miracle to happen: God to change the way she thinks and what she believes. If you can all please keep Kyah in your prayers for total healing in her body and for her to not believe the negativity she has been told in the past.

       

Big Ask

This morning we went to church and the message was titled “Ask Big”. The pastor was talking about when Solomon became king and asked God for wisdom. Solomon has been known to be the man of greatest wisdom ever to have lived.

1 John 5:14-15 says:
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

Both Kyah and I know that God wants her in the dance world, she definitely has been gifted with natural ability and talent to be successful in the dance world.

I know there are a lot of you out there praying for Kyah. Please, my “Big Ask” is that we all “Ask Big” – your prayers now be more focused on her mental, emotional and spiritual healing and that she has everything she needs to walk the path God has chosen for her.

Goodness knows she hit a massive speed bump that was not a normal accident nor was it a normal injury – it was very supernatural. It was a very timely accident too – so many opportunities that were opening up for her soon after the accident, she had to miss out on and therefore was not able to move into other dance arenas.

Kyah has a huge calling on her life and this has been confirmed a number of times. The cause of the blockages she has come up against, need to be broken once and for all. We do fight the powers of principalities and darkness, but He that is in us, is greater than he that is in the world. We would appreciate very much; your continued support and prayers.

Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:19-20

Thank you all for your prayers, advice and support, it means a lot to both of us.

      

Swan Lake

Today was again very challenging. Lots of “talking”/ “discussing” / trying to have each other see their point of view / “arguing” even!!!

The intention of this blog was to follow Kyah’s journey on her rehabilitation of her ankle injury, hopefully it would inspire someone or numerous people if they are in a similar situation. I have always found when I have been in a very trying time of life, I think: I am sure others have walked a path similar to this one and they have survived, if they can do it, so can I. I would like this blog to be for others in a similar situation to Kyah. Kyah can do it, so can you.

The journey is more than just physical rehabilitation and exercise. There is so much more to rehabilitation. I have been dealing with rehab clients for many years and it is amazing the psychology behind their healing. Their attitude to the injury is a main determinant in whether they recover fully or not.

Usually dealing with an elite athlete, compared to a professional athlete – their attitude is different, compared to a work cover injury – their attitude is different. The age of someone recovering from injury is also different. I am also finding the more I speak with people in the dance world the more I realise that injury often ends people’s careers, even before they begin…. Not that the injury was a career-ending injury, but the psychology behind the recovery and the injury itself is the restricting factor.

Kyah is totally able to do everything she needs to do physically. It is now a mental battle. This is the make or break challenge we are facing. No-one can do this but herself.  I am constantly telling her she is able and capable to do it all, but she has to believe it.

Today we went up to Brisbane and watched the Paris Opera Ballet perform Swan Lake. Again it was streamed live around the world. Their interpretation of Swan Lake was interesting.

Image result for swan lake free images

Image result for swan lake free images